My core wound was having an emotionally unavailable father shame me for being a highly emotional boy. Growing up in a midwestern culture that did not place value on a boy expressing his emotions, I suppressed them down deep. So deep, ultimately manifesting into the diagnosis of a “chronic” disease: ulcerative colitis. Hearing the phrases “boy’s don’t cry” and “go cry to your mother” were frequent not only in my household, but in the collective culture. Over the years, I built up armor and walls around my heart, pseudo protections disallowing my self truly feel or to be seen; creating barriers from connecting with my Self and others. The passing down of generational pain and trauma from my father, which he received from his father, uncles and male caregivers, and so on and so on….ends with me. I chose to look into the shadows, deep within my internal landscapes, where I granted my Self permission to feel the pain, longing and sadness. Identifying and working with the triggers rooted in shame, guilt and fear provided the threshold for my growth and evolution as an embodied man to emerge. This opened the pathway to mourn and grieve, emerging with in joy, love, sovereignty and happiness. The way knows the way…In and through is the way.

Vulnerable Storytime…

“I Didn’t know it was okay for me to love myself.” Is a massive watershed momet of breakthrough for men on the path from head to heart. This moment of awareness is the turning point for each man when confronted with radical honesty to now choose a path of reclamation for what the world taught him to forget. The privilege to hold space for hundreds of men all hold one common thread: self love and self care were not prioritized or taught and even deeper wounding, shamed and ridiculed.